Heartbeat

Today was my 14 week OB visit. For those of you keeping close track, I've actually gained a week. I was calculating my due date incorporating my incredibly long cycles which put me at 13 weeks and the OB says I'm actually a week further along based on the early sono. It does make sense that I'd be a bit further along as the nausea (hallelujah!) is practically gone. But, overall, I'm not too concerned about pesky little dates. I thought Lucas's due date was earlier than my last OB did and indeed he came a bit early for their calculations but right on the spot of when I was ready for him. So my answer to when I'm due is "end of January" vs. January 21.

Anyway, the point of mentioning the OB visit was to say that I got to hear the heartbeat. The thumpthumpthumpthump heartbeat! That super fast little beat is such a lovely sound.

Especially right now.

I mean so far in this pregnancy I've just been giving and giving and getting nothing in return!

It's an odd thing, the first trimester. On one hand, there is the initial jubilation of the positive pregnancy test. That seems to be quickly surpassed by a bit of oh-my-what-have-we-gotten-ourselves-into-here? Then the nausea and walking-dead fatigue. Then all the stuff you have to immediately give up: a nice cold beer at the baseball game, your regular lunch of turkey cold cuts, the delicious wheel of brie and log of goat cheese you had JUST purchased because those first two pregnancy tests came up negative and, holy hell, you may as well gorge yourself on soft cheeses for the next month, a crisp glass of pinot grigio with dinner. Gone. Gone. Gone.

And so you're just giving and giving and giving and getting nothing in return. No visible baby bump to let the world know you aren't just getting fatter. No nice little kicks to keep you up at night remind you that you are growing a real live little person in there. No adorable little hiccups to make you smile. And it still seems much too early to pull out (or start purchasing!) those adorabe 0-3 month outfits.

But then, for a few glorious seconds, you get a heartbeat. And you realize that you will gratefully give and give and give to this new life for the rest of your own.


Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!