Welcome to the World, Nathaniel!

Nathaniel at just hours old--he already looks a little different!

Luckily my fears did not come to pass: my water broke in the hospital Sunday night. Several hours later, on Monday, January 11, 2010, at 5:25 am, we welcomed Nathaniel to our family. He's amazing! He weighed in at 9 pounds, 7 ounces and is 21.5 inches long and is eating like a champ. He's even given me several 4 hour stretches of sleep at night which has been fantastic. Big brother Lucas is over the moon excited about the baby and is doing an awesome job letting us know when he fusses or might want his paci.

As an extra bonus, January 11 is my brother's birthday (30 this year!) and my maternal grandparents' wedding anniversary (it would have been 67 years this year!).

More to come, for sure.

Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

Will it be a Flood or a Trickle?

I'm 38 weeks today and Lucas was just over a week early so I'm totally anticipating going into labor any day now. I have another OB appointment tomorrow so we'll see if I've made any, er, progress. I'm not worried about labor--it will be what it will be. I am, however, totally freaked out about my water breaking.

With Lucas it was barely perceptible that my water had broken. Let's say it was a very, very slow trickle. And, I'm fully aware that many times women go into labor and have to have their water broken at the hospital.

But, for some reason, I am totally convinced that this time around my water is going to break in an absolutely mortifying FLOOD of breaking water.

I told my sister last night that I'm considering keeping a towel and change of pants in my purse. She laughingly agreed that might be a good idea. BUT, unless I want to start carrying a diaper bag right now, that's not really possible. Maybe I should just keep them in the van? Maybe. But, really, what good will a pair of pants do me in the van? If my water does break and soak my pants, how in the world would I change my pants in the car in a somewhat modest way? I mean, I am big and unwieldy and struggle to get dressed in the expanse of my bedroom, let alone in a van with many, many windows!

Truth be told, I think this fear all stems from reading this post written by one of my favorite new-ish DC Metro Mom bloggers, Kate @ The Big Piece of Cake.

(Go read it, I'll wait.)

Seriously, isn't that hysterical and horrifying all at once? Okay, if you're not currently pregnant it probably leans more toward the hysterical side but LET ME TELL YOU, if you happen to be 38 weeks pregnant, it leans MUCH MORE HEAVILY toward the horrifying side.

So, forget that the car seat isn't installed yet or that I haven't even considered what I need to pack in my hospital bag, I think at least a towel will be taking up residency in the van TODAY.

Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

Getting ready

We've been busy, busy, busy getting ready for baby. Lucas is all moved into his new Big Boy Room and the transition was awesome. Several times in the past few months when I mentioned (e.g. tried to hype) the move, he suggested that he should just stay in his room. So, I was very worried that when he came home from a few extra nights at my parents' house to find the Christmas decorations completely gone AND a brand new bedroom, he'd freak out. But, he was totally excited and has slept there through the entire night since Saturday. Woo hoo! We just have a few more things to hang on the walls and then I'll do a big reveal for you, dear readers, but I'll tell you now that it is fantastic and I'm very, very pleased with it.

As for the nursery, we have it painted and the crib is up and boxes and boxes and bags and bags of baby stuff are just piled in there. I'll tell you, it's a bit overwhelming. Baby boy will sleep in our room in the bassinet for at least a few weeks (and probably more like a few months!) so I'm not feeling that the room has to be 100% put together RIGHT NOW but we do need to do a ton of wash: all the fabric parts of the car seat and stroller, blankets, sheets, bibs, hats and all the littlest clothes.

Abel got one load of clothes in the wash for me yesterday. As I was folding them last night I was basically in disbelief. There is NO WAY Lucas was ever that tiny. Seriously. As I folded one teeny-tiny onesie after another, I decided that the only possible explanation is that they all shrunk in the attic over the past four years.

What are we going to do with a baby that small?


Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

Heartbreaking and Beautiful

It was probably very unsafe for me to be listening to this story on All Things Considered this afternoon on the Beltway as I drove home from my 37 week OB appointment. But, even as the tears streamed down my face, I simply could not turn the station.

The truly beautiful and heartbreaking story is about one photographer (of many) who volunteers to photograph babies who die shortly after birth and of one mother and baby she photographed.

I am so, so grateful that this pregnancy has gone so well and that our (still-nameless!) baby appears to be very happy and healthy in my womb.

Here's the story. I highly recommend listening to it, but please be prepared to sob.

Capturing the Brief Life and Death of an Infant


Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

Thank goodness SOME people are preparing for this baby!

OMG people. 6 weeks until my due date. And, you know, Lucas was a solid week and a half early. So we could be approximately one month away from bringing home a real live little baby with demanding, life-sustaining needs! Ahhhhhh!

I had a dream the other night that we got our cloth diapers delivered right before the baby was born. I had literally nothing else ready. (Kind of like exactly what I have ready now except I don't even have diapers yet.) I said, "Oh well! We've got diapers and breast milk, what more do we need?" (Obviously this was a dream because in real life my response would be much closer to a panic attack.)

I suppose that is technically true. I mean there's nothing cuter than a naked little baby, right? And we have an adorable little knit hat which my mom found at her church Christmas bizarre. And we can probably smuggle a onesie or two out of the hospital. So that's like 3 hours worth of clothing?

Luckily, some people are preparing for the birth of this little baby boy. Namely, my parents.

My mom finished the baby quilt and also threw together a receiving blanket and changing pad cover with the fabric I bought (er, she bought, she insisted on paying me so it was truly a gift from her!). How lovely are these?

L to R: quilt, receiving blanket, changing pad cover


And, my dad arrived Monday afternoon to spend a few days with us working on preparing Lucas's new room. His tasks are to remove the awful old paste from the wallpaper Abel ripped down and to paint. My tasks include choosing a paint color (hopefully before he's ready to actually paint!) and buying a bed. Abel will install a closet system and then that room will be pretty much ready to go. Then we can paint and decorate the nursery. And get the car seat and some clothes and the baby bathtub and myriad other things which I'm totally assuming are packed away and in good condition down from the attic.

Think carefree...totally carefree....

Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

33 Weeks

Holy Cow! I am 33 weeks pregnant. Which, I realized last weekend, is 8 months pregnant, not 7 months pregnant as I had been telling everyone. How in the world did this happen? Lucas's birthday and Christmas are 3 weeks away and a very short 4 weeks after that I'm due.

At this point the physical toll of pregnancy is steep. I'm huge. I can't sleep. I pee every 5 minutes. I have constant heartburn (oh Tums Wintergreen how I love thee!). In the past few days I've been developing the most insane muscle cramps. Two nights ago I had to wake Abel up to massage my calf because it hurt so badly and I couldn't reach it! I run out of breath just singing at church. And, also? I've developed a sinus infection.

Really, this end-of-pregnancy stuff is just CRAP. I suppose one could look at it as nature's way to make you actually look forward to labor and delivery. I mean what's hours of massive pain compared to day after day and night after night of aches and pains and heartburn and not being able to tie your shoes?

But I'd like to argue that nature has it all wrong. Things should get easier toward the end. You should be able to get the best nights of sleep of you entire life (after all, we all know months of no sleep are about to come). You should feel fantastic and ready to conquer the world: super mom hear me roar!

Instead, I feel more like underdog hear me whimper.

Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

Answers to all your questions

When someone has a BIG event happening in their life, it seems like conversation revolves solely around that BIG event. For example, your friend gets engaged. ALL you can think to ask her about every time you see her is how the wedding plans are coming along. Same for a new house, job, and, of course, for a new baby. Lately I've been getting the same few questions over and over and over again from friends, acquaintances and strangers alike. So, here are the answers.

1) I am feeling okay. Very big and very tired but nothing out of the ordinary for the 3rd trimester.

2) No. We have NO IDEA what we're going to name this little bambino. Do you have any ideas?

3) Right now Lucas is very excited and loving toward the baby (often giving my belly kisses and hugs). He even said "my baby brother" at school when the teacher was writing down what each child is thankful for. But, I suspect this will change when Lucas realizes how UNFUN little babies are and how much of Mama and Dada's time, energy and sanity the baby will suck away.


Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

Nursery Update

Slowly but surely my vision for the nursery is coming together. As you know, I already purchased this lovely print and continue to just adore it.

My mom offered to sew a quilt and some changing pad covers. So, last Friday I purchased the above fabrics for the quilt. We decided to use the first four (left to right) for the front of the quilt and the bottom fabric for the back. We ultimately decided the blue to the far right doesn't go with the other blues so we'll save it for another project. She'll use the fabric to the far left (and maybe others, depending on what yardage is left) for the changing pad covers. I think we're going to skip a crib skirt and bumper pads this time around.

This officially confirms my color scheme as light blue and brown with green accents. Not only will this go with my plans for Lucas's big boy room, it will look nice with our nursery furniture which is cherry.

Overall, I'm not thrilled with the cherry, but the crib was a hand-me-down and you can't beat free. A few months ago, I briefly considered painting all the nursery furniture (crib, changing table and dresser) white but ultimately decided that would be crazy. Now that we're at less than 10 weeks and counting and still have to finish the details on the closet project, get Lucas moved into his new room and paint the nursery, we couldn't possibly add that project to the mix.

I just can't wait until the quilt is finished. Pretty soon I'm going to get antsy about getting some boxes of clothes down from the attic. January 21 is fast approaching!

Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

Good Things

1. I can still shave my legs. (I'm not doing it very often, but I still CAN.)

2. I don't have any new stretch marks. (I got lots with Lucas, but there don't seem to be any new ones...yet.)

3. I have not developed gestational diabetes. (I had it with Lucas but have now successfully passed not one, but TWO, times drinking that foul glucose drink.) The thing is that I really can't believe that I haven't developed it again. Would it be crazy to try to talk my OB into having me take the test again in a few weeks? (Yes.)

4. I've been treating myself to pregnancy massages. AMAZING. I think this should be standard prenatal treatment. How can we work that into health care reform? (You KNOW if the Senate was 86 women and 14 men--instead of the opposite--it totally could happen.) I've had two with a woman in town who is a massage therapist and getting them in her home is almost half as much as what the fancy spas charge (she also works at a fancy spa, too, but her house is so convenient!). I plan to have at least two more before this baby arrives.

5. Some friends in town are throwing Abel and me a baby shower on Saturday! I didn't think I'd have a shower for baby #2 (especially because it's another boy) but this is a group of friends who didn't know me when I was pregnant for Lucas and two ladies very generously offered to host one. Fun!


Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

The truth will come back to embarrass you in public

Understandably, Lucas has been very interested in the whole concept of this baby. Specifically, how in the world he is going to get out of my belly. (Thank goodness he hasn't been asking how he got IN.)

First, Lucas asked me if the baby came out of my mouth. Actually, he didn't really ask so much as state in a very incredulous tone that the baby didn't come out of my mouth, did it? That one was easy: no, the baby doesn't come out of my mouth!

Next, Lucas wanted to know just how he does come out. Again, I thought I had an easy answer: the doctor helps the baby come out. Unfortunately, that didn't quite cut it. If only I had a c-section with Lucas or was planning on one (hopefully not) with this baby, I could have agreed when he said, with wide eyes, "The doctor reaches into your belly to pull the baby out??"

Ummm...no.

So, I continued with my easy answers: "Mama has a special place the baby comes out of."

"What special place?"

Okay. So we've always used appropriate words with Lucas: penis, breasts and now...vagina.

"Mama has a special place called a vagina that the baby comes out of."

That seemed to satisfy Lucas. He does still ask and I respond that I have my special place called a vagina and the conversation is over. At least, our conversation is over. Lucas's conversation continues with just about everyone he meets. Here's how it goes:

"I was a baby in my mama's belly and I came out of her special place called a 'gina. Now she has another baby in her belly and he's going to come out her 'gina, too!!!!"

So far the kids at the park don't seem too fazed by this knowledge. The adults get a sort of embarrassed look and just smile and nod. And then I get a little bit of an embarrassed look and smile and nod as well.


Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

I knew you

On a handful of occasions throughout his short life, Lucas has talked to me about the time before he was born. Just the other night when I was putting him to bed, he told me that he was searching and searching for his mama and dada before he got into in my belly. Other times, he's told me that he was with Jesus until he found me.

There's an oft-quoted bible verse from the Book Jeremiah chapter 1, verse 5, "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you."

Those conversations with Lucas have always been brief but they are very meaningful to me. Although I don't talk about it much, I do have a strong belief in God and do believe strongly in heaven.

Yet, I feel pretty sure that I've never "planted" those specific thoughts in Lucas's head. Perhaps someone else has; I haven't asked Abel about it. Both our mothers are very religious and his daycare provider was as well. Maybe one of them said something to him once about being with Jesus before he was born and it really stuck with him. Maybe.

Or, maybe this is one of those examples of brilliant truths coming from the mouths of babes. Maybe there is just a teeny, tiny piece of him that does remember his soul searching for his parents. That does know that his soul was with Jesus before his earthly life began. Perhaps this is just a vague memory that gets smaller and more distant with each passing year, until one day, as adults, we can hardly fathom that truth. Perhaps.

It is both comforting and awe-inspiring to think that, of all the millions of egg and sperm and combinations, God did know Lucas and his baby brother before they were formed in my womb. That Abel and I were formed to be their parents. That even though there are times we, as adults, feel so distant from God and from heaven, that the smallest babies know and remember.


Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

Wierd things

So there are all these bizarre things that happen to you when you're pregnant. I'd like to give you a few examples.

1) Excess saliva. I vividly remember when I was pregnant with Lucas being horrified that I was suddenly spitting at people as I talked. Basically every single one of my co-workers at the time should have said to me, "Say it don't spray it, girl." It was horrifying. (Did I already say that? Forgetfulness is also a problem.) Then, one day I read that you start to produce excess saliva during pregnancy. Ah ha! That's why I am spitting at people. This time around, I don't think I'm spraying as much. But, I am, literally, choking on my own spit. On a regular basis. It's embarrassing.

2) Gotta' go. Okay, everyone knows about pregnant women and the increased need to pee. (See above: there is increased overall fluid production.) But, the MOST BIZARRE thing is that there are times when I go from not having to pee at all to barely-able-to-make-it-50-feet-to-the-bathroom over the course of, oh, about 20 seconds. Then (yes, it gets worse) I sit down and NOTHING COMES OUT. Finally, I get a trickle, but certainly not enough to warrant such an extreme emergency. I do believe that baby decides to sit down on my bladder, making me think it is full and then he somehow blocks the exit when I'm on the pot. Bizarre.

3) Klutz Factor. I'm already a big klutz. It is a proven fact. Way back when we were engaged, Abel would joke to me that I wouldn't be allowed to carry our children up or down stairs because I so often tripped up or down them for no reason at all. Somehow my klutziness factor increases dramatically when I'm pregnant. I've taken to seriously holding on to hand rails on stairs. Not just skimming my hand along, but HOLDING ON as I walk up or down stair cases. I'm like an old lady.


I know there's more. What bizarre things happened to you during pregnancy?


Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

26 Weeks

I'm 26 weeks along today and my little baby boy has gone from a walnut to a heirloom tomato to a mango to an English hothouse cucumber. Thank goodness for Baby Center and their bizarre size to food similes (or are those metaphors?) or I'd have no idea how to translate inches into an actual understanding big this little bambino is.

So overall things have been uneventful. Which is great. They also have been flying by. I know I've said this before, but pregnancy is just so different this time around. I think that 4 years ago about this time I was having literal panic attacks over what features we needed on our pack 'n play. I mean, did we need it to vibrate and offer soothing ocean sounds? And don't even get me started on the stroller or car seat. I had lists. And books. And more lists, people. And I was freaking out over every aspect of all the STUFF we needed. I was reading ahead in What to Expect and knew exactly what week I was at every minute.

This time, I have no idea how far along I am until I get my weekly e-mail. I haven't read a thing. I'm not even sure if I'm in the 3rd trimester yet--when exactly does that start? Also, I'm just assuming that everything we need for this little guy is safely tucked away in the attic. At some point I'll get it all down (er, Abel will get it all down) and I'll wash it and let's just pray that 3 years worth of boy clothes aren't all moth eaten or otherwise ruined. I know I'll need to buy more bottles (Lucas was pre-knowledge of BPA) and there are a few other things on my would-be-nice-to-have-this-time-around list. I'm researching cloth diapers and need to get that all figured out. We still need to do both the boys' rooms, too.

Okay. Now I'm freaking myself out a bit. I guess there is a lot to do.

I might need to begin a list.


Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

Caution: Mommy Blogging Ahead

Okay, so I am quite certain that you are all on the edge of your seats: Did she or did she not abandon the night training and put a diaper on her 3yo? Did he or did he not wake up dry?

Heavy questions, folks.

Here are your answers: I abandoned the night training. I was on the verge of doing it anyway, but the several supportive comments and complete lack of oh-my-God-your-almost-four-year-old-still-wears-a-diaper comments helped make that decision easier.

So, here's the result: I wasn't up for an hour in the middle of the night. Yay! BUT he still woke up COMPLETELY soaked. Crazy! I'd much rather clean up a wet little boy at 6am or 7am than 3am, however, so I still agree we made the right decision. Maybe we need to make sure he drinks all his fluids for the day before 3pm or something. Who knows.

Also, along the lines of diapers and whatnot, I'm strongly considering using cloth diapers for baby #2. I don't think I'll be militant about it--e.g. Mom, I won't ask to wash poopy diapers in your washing machine. But if I am home full-time why not give it a shot? I'm currently starting to research the whole thing so any advice or comments or even links to other websites and blogs that discuss the topic are more than welcome.

In other exciting baby news, I am now feeling the baby move all! the! time! It is so fun. Abel even got to feel some kicks the other night. We have another sonogram on Friday morning (last time they just couldn't get the angle on the heart that they needed) and we're going to take Lucas with us. I'm not sure that he'll get much out of the experience, but it will be fun to say that he was there AND, immediately following the appointment, Abel's meeting my dad so that Lucas can spend two nights with my parents. Woo hoo!

And, also? I'm pretty confident that anyone who sees me would now officially jump to the conclusion that I am pregnant and not question if I have just consumed a large box of chocolates (which, to be fair, may also be true). That's a nice spot to get to in pregnancy--big enough that you look pregnant, not so big that you can't fit between clothing racks in stores (which will be a future stage, if I recall).


Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

Playing the Name Game

Now that we officially know that Baby #2 is Boy #2, Abel and I have started getting serious about names. It took literally hours and hours of reading through lists, vetoing left and right and getting suggestions from family and friends to come up with Lucas last time around. We had one other boy name under consideration, Gus, which despite many people telling us they hated it, we both really liked. (It still bubbles up in conversation these days so be careful not to share your intense hatred if that's how you feel!)

As for a girl, we were all set: Isabel Ramona. Isabel is a name I've loved for years and years, long before I met Abel. And, as it happens to also be his mother's name, I can't think of anything more perfect for a daughter. I was a bit concerned with it's current popularity and had a slight fear that someone would think I named a daughter after the main character in the Twilight novels. So, if we eventually have a daughter in a few more years, maybe those issues will be resolved. Ramona, a name that is s l o w l y growing on me, is the name of Abel's maternal grandmother. For me--and perhaps you?--the first thing that comes to mind when I hear that name is crazy-haired, knock-kneed, Ramona Quimby! Oh how I loved those books when I was younger. But, really, is the the kind of character you want to name your daughter after?

Well, all that is moot anyway.

Back to boys.

As I mentioned, Lucas has been intent on calling the baby Lucas. Just yesterday, however, he got to meet the new baby brother of one of his friends. This baby's name is Thomas. Now, the name Thomas is a wonderful, solid name. One I like a great deal. But what does it evoke in any toddler or preschool aged boy? Thomas the Train! Lucas immediately suggested that we name our baby Percy, a leap that makes total sense: Percy is Lucas's favorite engine.

Let me be clear: Percy is not under consideration!

I've been scanning baby name websites and even borrowed a few baby name books from some moms in town. So far, it looks like we're both leaning toward Old Testament names. They do seem to be en vogue right now, don't they? Lucas is the Latin for Luke, a biblical name. And, of course, Abel fits in the Old Testament category as well.

We've got a few months to figure it all out so who knows what we'll come up with. In the meantime, though, I think it would be funny to start telling anyone who asks that we're naming the baby Cain.

Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

It's a Boy!

Newsflash: there's a baby in there. Seriously. There really is. And it was kicking and holding its hands and moving all around. Can you believe it?

(Yes, I realize that you all are thinking that I am being silly, I mean, of course there is a baby in there. Didn't I tell you months ago that there was a baby in there?)

But, folks, really: there is a baby in there!

I know this sounds ridiculous but as much as I know there's a baby and I've even heard it's heartbeat and I've started to feel some fluttering movement and I have to pee all the time (seriously, like every 15 minutes, especially at night), somehow it just really sunk in on Friday morning when I was looking at the screen that...there's a baby in there!

And that baby is a boy.

Pretty much everyone knows that I was hoping for a girl. I even have Lucas using female pronouns to refer to the baby (note to self: need to break that) but now we know with pretty good certainty (we definitely got the money shot if you know what I mean) that baby #2 is also boy #2.

So I lose out on pretty, pretty girl clothes. But, I gain, too.

I gain brothers. And I gain the fact that every single article of clothing in the many, many boxes in our attic will not only be the right color but also the right season.* And, of course, I already know my trucks and am learning my dinosaurs. And I don't mind bugs or mud and do allow jumping on the furniture. I gain the phrases "the boys" and "my boys" and I get to be the only girl (for now). Yeah, I definitely gain.

It will, however, most likely take every single day of the next 19 weeks to come up with a name. We were all set for a girl and for a boy, we've got nothing. Well, I have a name that I love and adore and think is perfect which Abel has strongly vetoed.

(Lucas has suggested "Lucas." It's a great name, he tells us. No, there won't be any confusion. "I'll be Lucas and my brother will be Lucas." Hmmm....)

*Note to self: money not being spent on pretty girly clothes should now be spent on massages, pretty new diaper bags or some other girly-pampering for the only girl in the family! Don't you agree, dear readers?


Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

Do you ever make a "pro" and "con" list even though you know what you're going to do in the end?

(Here it is, just in case you don't want to click back)

So I was just looking at my post from Friday and thinking about what to write today and I decided to click on the link to that adorable print just in case they decided to add more to the shop or some other miracle of e-commerce made them available again. And, lo and behold, I had not taken note of the fact that while the $20 8x10 print was sold out, there were still prints available in the larger sizes.

At this very moment 141 copies of the 11x14 print are available for $50 each.

What to do?

Admittedly, $50 is a lot of money to spend on one print for the baby's nursery.

But, I love it.

Admittedly, I don't yet know (Friday can't come soon enough, folks) if this little heirloom tomato (last week's size description courtesy of Baby Center) is a he or a she.

But, the color scheme of the print will match both the boy and girl decor I'm currently thinking of.

Admittedly, I will probably want to purchase a few more decor items.

But, most of the items that I have in mind are on Etsy and are very reasonable.

So, I'm about to click over and officially purchase the very first thing for this baby.

(But, of course I had to come blog about it first!)

Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

20 Weeks

When the Baby Center e-mail arrives tomorrow announcing 20 Weeks, I will not be able to believe it. How in the world am I half-way through this pregnancy? As with all things of this nature, in some ways, it feels like ages ago that I finally got that positive pregnancy test and in other ways it feels like yesterday. And, at the same time, I think January 21 is going to take forever to arrive but also be here in the blink of an eye.

So far, things have been going really well. Yeah, the nausea and tiredness for those first few months was hard. Yeah, the ups and downs are tough. But, those are truly minor bumps in the road, and things which are to be fully expected. The big things--like my platelets--are good so far and for that, I'm truly grateful. There's no sign of gestational diabetes, either. So far my blood sugars are normal which is also wonderful. I know, however, and am bracing myself, that both of those could become factors in the next few months. And, my doctors and I are prepared.

Last week (an already rough week) I was convinced that my platelets had dropped. I had an unexplained bruise on my shin and woke up one morning with a bloody nose. I'm sure these aren't things that a normal person would think twice about but I know that bruising and bleeding can be very scary for me. On top of that, the results of my blood test took more than an hour to come back. Everything seemed to be running behind in the office that afternoon, but as the minutes ticked by--doubling and tripling the normal 15 minute turn around--I was expecting the worst. Luckily, they came back the same as last month--still well below the "normal" platelet count, but still well-above the danger level.

But, this post wasn't supposed to be about the what ifs. It's about the what will be. In another 20 weeks we will have the most amazing gift--a second child. A new member of our fam-ill-lee (as Lucas says).

And in one week, we will know if the baby will be a boy or a girl.

I am secretly (but obviously not-so-secretly!) hoping for a girl. I'm ready to buy some pink and see for myself if girls really are a little more calm. And I'm ready to name her the name I've dreamed about for years.

But, I will embrace a boy as well. (Though his nursery will be much more babyish than Lucas's!!) The boxes and boxes and boxes of clothes in the attic will be the right color and the right season. The trucks and cars and tools will get played with even more. The idea of brothers--and hopefully best friends--is just awesome.

Either way, I know Lucas will be an amazing big brother.

There is so much I want and need to do before the baby arrives. Two rooms to prepare. Things to buy. Clothes to get down and wash. Projects to finish. Quality time to spend with Lucas, savoring this alone-time with our first born.

And we've got just 20 weeks to do it!

Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

Brad Pitt taught my son to eat worms

So another crazy thing about being pregnant is the dreams--my pregnancy dreams are incredibly vivid. Last night I dreamed that Brad Pitt taught Lucas to eat worms!

So the dream started out that we were visiting my mom's good friend Ellen and it just so happened that Ellen was dating Brad Pitt. Now, everyone totally realized that this was a HUGE deal. I mean, it wasn't just a guy who looked like Brad Pitt but it was really and truly BRAD PITT. Brad was on his way over and Ellen even warned us all to just be ourselves.

Well, obviously that was impossible!

So he comes in and I stammer an awkward introduction. Then Lucas, who had been out playing in the yard, wandered in carrying a worm he had found in the dirt. Of course Brad, being the experienced father that he is, expressed great interest in Lucas's worm. Then, as Lucas was leaving to find more worms, Brad remarked he has known some pretty bizarre people--no names mentioned!--some who even eat worms because they are high in protein but low in fat and calories.

Apparently Lucas overheard the "eating worms" part and came back inside with a chewed up worm in his mouth.

Obviously it tasted disgusting so he wanted to spit it out into my hand. Obviously I totally wanted to FREAK the heck out but there was BRAD PITT. So, I totally had to act cool and accept the chewed up worm into my hand before taking Lucas to the sink for a glass of water to rinse out his mouth.

I woke up a little mad at Brad Pitt for teaching my son to eat worms but was also like WAY TO GO Ellen!




Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

Heartbeat

Today was my 14 week OB visit. For those of you keeping close track, I've actually gained a week. I was calculating my due date incorporating my incredibly long cycles which put me at 13 weeks and the OB says I'm actually a week further along based on the early sono. It does make sense that I'd be a bit further along as the nausea (hallelujah!) is practically gone. But, overall, I'm not too concerned about pesky little dates. I thought Lucas's due date was earlier than my last OB did and indeed he came a bit early for their calculations but right on the spot of when I was ready for him. So my answer to when I'm due is "end of January" vs. January 21.

Anyway, the point of mentioning the OB visit was to say that I got to hear the heartbeat. The thumpthumpthumpthump heartbeat! That super fast little beat is such a lovely sound.

Especially right now.

I mean so far in this pregnancy I've just been giving and giving and getting nothing in return!

It's an odd thing, the first trimester. On one hand, there is the initial jubilation of the positive pregnancy test. That seems to be quickly surpassed by a bit of oh-my-what-have-we-gotten-ourselves-into-here? Then the nausea and walking-dead fatigue. Then all the stuff you have to immediately give up: a nice cold beer at the baseball game, your regular lunch of turkey cold cuts, the delicious wheel of brie and log of goat cheese you had JUST purchased because those first two pregnancy tests came up negative and, holy hell, you may as well gorge yourself on soft cheeses for the next month, a crisp glass of pinot grigio with dinner. Gone. Gone. Gone.

And so you're just giving and giving and giving and getting nothing in return. No visible baby bump to let the world know you aren't just getting fatter. No nice little kicks to keep you up at night remind you that you are growing a real live little person in there. No adorable little hiccups to make you smile. And it still seems much too early to pull out (or start purchasing!) those adorabe 0-3 month outfits.

But then, for a few glorious seconds, you get a heartbeat. And you realize that you will gratefully give and give and give to this new life for the rest of your own.


Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!