A few updates

I've been in the land of OH-IO for the past several days sans Internet connection. Here are a few quick updates for my loyal readers.

1) My hair is still falling out at an alarming rate. But, no visible bald patches yet. I'm strongly considering a major haircut, something more flattering to my now very thin hair.

2) October 1 came and went and my husband is still employed. He did not get the legislative fix necessary to keep his organization operating into the bailout legislation. (Yay! Let's give $700B to Wall Street but not continue to allow these charities to help 100,000 people a year buy homes without using any taxpayer money.) But, his organization is very financially sound right now so they are going to keep their employees on for as long as possible hoping that the legislative fix will indeed happen before the have to close down. So, sigh of relief, for now things are fine.

3) Another sigh of relief, my platelets have remained stable in the 65K range for about 6 weeks now. In fact, I no longer have to go in for my weekly blood draw but am just going every few weeks. 65K is still low but well above the critically low range I was in before. So, woo hoo for my platelets!

Coming attractions this week include a rant about people who choose not to vote--especially when said people live in the battleground state of Ohio; the story of Lucas and his new Hummer (I kid you not); and a long visit to Ohio which included my brother-in-law, sister-in-law and niece (obviously I don't blame her) finding exactly 2.5 hours to spend with their nephew and brother.

I'm Going Bald

Seriously. Every time I run my hands through my hair I come back with clumps of hair woven through my fingers. In the shower new clumps come out when I wet my hair, when I shampoo my hair, when I rinse my hair, when I condition my hair and when I rinse my hair. You'd think it would all come out with the first shampoo/rinse but no. Every. Single. Time. there are clumps of hair.

This happened to me once before. A few weeks after I stopped breastfeeding Lucas my hair started falling out. After several days of freaking out, I realized that my hair had been incredibly thick and luxurious during my pregnancy. Now that I had stopped breastfeeding my hormones must be returning to normal and thus all that extra hair was coming out. The clumps of hair still freaked me out but I knew there was a reason and I convinced myself that I wasn't really going to go bald.

This time when it started falling out the first thing that crossed my mind was that I was pregnant. Then I realized that if I was pregnant my hair would be getting thicker not thinner. So my next thought was that I had miscarried. About 10 seconds later I realized that was a pretty irrational conclusion as well and that it must be the steriods.

Ah, yes. The steriods. All the yucky side effects of prednisone did come with the semi-positive side effect of making my hair grow longer and faster. I say semi-positive because ALL my hair was growing. Including two wiry chin hairs which I had to pluck on an every-other-day-basis and which made me feel like an old lady. (I am happy to report no more incidences of chin hairs since going off the prednisone.)

So I understand that what is falling out is the extra hair that grew due to the steroids. But, hello, it has now been weeks--weeks!--of no prednisone and it is coming out in an alarming rate and in alarming quantities.

I hope you'll still be my friend when I'm bald.

Hair

I knew I was nervous about chopping off all my hair and going shorter than I've been since 5th grade. But I didn't realize that it would take a Xanax to get me into the salon.

All day I was fine, I was even excited about doing a good deed and getting a new look at the same time. Then on the drive over, I started panicing. I could literally feel the anxiety rising up my limbs. I had one last Xanax in my purse for emergencies and had saved it through many recent anxious moments (specifically while visiting my in-laws last weekend).

Even as I swallowed it, I couldn't believe that I was taking a Xanax over HAIR. Come on. It is just hair! My hair grows quickly. I hated it how long it was. It was driving me crazy. I knew this was a good thing to do. I kept thinking of all the wonderful compliments I get about my hair--great color, so shiny, so thick. I knew I was going to make some underprivileged young girl (or boy!) so happy with the wig they'd get from my hair and Locks of Love. I had encouraged my niece to do it. I was doing it in honor of my mother who has been bald from chemo. since early January and has handled it with such amazing grace.

Why was I freaking out?

As I parked and walked around the corner to the salon and the Xanax kicked in, I realized I was more attached to my hair than I thought. And, I was seriously worried I'd look awful.

When I got into the chair and told my awesome stylist what I was doing, she was so happy. Later, well into the cut, she told me that earlier that day, she learned of the death of a young woman who had been a long-time client. A woman just about my age, with two kids, who died of cancer the previous night. I thought to myself, I am doing a good thing. And, Melba is helping me do a good thing. And, damn, she's a great stylist. My hair looks amazing!

After!!

Before

Totally Gonna' Do It

Okay.

This is it.

I've made up my mind and am going to do it.

I've already told people about it. So, I have to do it. (My personal secret for making myself really do something: tell someone. When I don't tell anyone, I never end up doing whatever it is that will be hard to do!).

Man, I am scared.

But, it's just hair, right? It will grow back, right?

Afterall, my mom's been bald since about mid-January and she's handling it great.

What is it? Have you figured it out?

No, I'm not going to pull a Brittney and shave my head.

I'm going to cut off 10+ inches of hair and donate it to Locks of Love. More specifically, my wonderful, amazing stylist--whom I admittedly don't visit often enough, hence the ability to cut off 10 inches and still have hair left!--is going to do it. Tomorrow night. The appointment is made. The form is filled out. The envelope is ready.

Pictures coming soon!

P.S. Please, God, don't let me look hideous.