Remembering my moment as a speechwriter for Eunice Kennedy Shriver

This morning I'm fondly remembering Eunice Kennedy Shriver who passed away earlier today at age 88. Below is an entry originally published on May 21, 2008 about the time I met Mrs. Shriver and her husband, Sargent. It was truly a highlight of my life!


It’s Commencement-time across the country and famous and not-so-famous people are addressing the nation’s Class of 2008. This morning as I was driving into work, there was a short story on NPR about Maria Shriver putting an Obama sign on the front lawn of their California home and Arny following suite with a McCain sign.

It reminded me of one of the most exciting experiences of my life.

It was Commencement 2004 and I was working at a local university. My department had the unlucky task of working commencement every year (which also always fell on Mother’s Day), handling the VIPs, press and other behind-the-scenes details. That year my sister was graduating from the same university so I was technically excused from working. However, my boss did offer me one opportunity, for which I will be eternally grateful.

You see, two people receiving honorary degrees that afternoon were Sargent and Eunice Kennedy Shriver. Two of my heroes. Knowing what it would mean to me to meet them, my boss offered me the opportunity to “staff” them that morning. Of course I jumped on the opportunity.

Mr. Shriver took most of my time and attention. I knew he was suffering from Alzheimer’s but was surprised at its toll. He was amazingly kind, personable, funny and attentive to me, but also asked the same things over and over again and needed constant attention.

Mrs. Shriver was perhaps the most elegant person I’ve ever encountered in real life. She was very kind but also quite reserved.

At one point, however, Mrs. Shriver asked me to go over her speech with her. We sat down and she started reading it quietly to me. She began, “Throughout my life I’ve been known as many things. I’ve been known and John’s sister and Bobby’s sister and Ted’s sister. I’ve been known as Sargent’s wife. Now, I’m best known as Arnold Schwarzenegger’s mother-in-law.”

I know it is rude to interrupt. But, I just couldn’t help myself. I quipped, “But you’re still a Democrat!”

Laughing she said, “That’s a great line!” and proceeded to hand-write it into the speech!

Minutes later I was standing back stage as she addressed the crowd and when she got to my line the crowd went wild—laughing and cheering. I was beaming.

Due to the length of the ceremony and their advanced age, Mr. and Mrs. Shriver left the stage immediately after receiving their degrees and giving their remarks. As I escorted them out of the building and into their waiting car, Mrs. Shriver thanked me for the great line.

It really did make the speech.

And, it was one of the best moments of my life.


Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

Summer 'o Travel Part Deux

Alternately titled: In which I freak myself out and calm myself down in 400 words or less.


OMG. Seriously folks. I had just come to peace with the fact that we'll be waking up at ungodly hour o'clock to get to the airport when I decide to search through my e-mail to double triple quadruple check that I had all the times right in my head. Somehow in my freaking out about a 6am flight mania, I had neglected to pay adequate anxiety-inducing attention to the fact that we are at JFK for 4 hours. From 7:14 am until 11:15am. What in the world are two very tired parents going do to with a most likely so-tired-that-he's-overly-hyper-3yo for FOUR hours at an airport?

Let's break this down.

2 exhausted parents + 1 tired 3yo + 4 hours in an airport = TROUBLE.

Join in tomorrow* when I freak out about the fact that none of my clothes fit me. Or, as I quipped to Abel, "It will be easy to pack light when I have nothing that fits." "Perfect!" he enthusiastically replied. Hopefully my sister won't mind two pairs of capris paired with 4 different shirts. At least laundry is free!

*Okay. Just kidding. (Kidding about another complain-ey post tomorrow; not kidding about having no clothes that fit! I'm in that weird stage where my pants are too tight but I'm not big enough to sport maternity wear.) I will quit griping and focus on the fact that once our horrible travel day is over we will be able to relax by Sarah's pool while eating fish tacos. Hmmmm...fish tacos!

Okay, okay, I take this whole thing back. JetBlue claims that their JFK terminal is new and state of the art. Apparently it features, among other amenities, a "large children's area." Let's just say I'm holding them to their word here! They also offer free wi-fi so I will definitely be reporting in.


Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

Summer 'o Travel

Lucas at Pacific Beach, San Diego, CA last September

Oh my. This has been our summer of travel. First, the beach. Then, the family reunion. Then, Ohio to visit the in-laws. Next up: sunny San Diego. Abel hasn't even unpacked from Ohio. I unpacked but didn't put my suitcase away. With less than a week between trips, why bother?

Don't get me wrong, I am really looking forward to hanging out in sunny San Diego with my sister and brother-in-law, their dogs and their lovely backyard pool for a week. Not to mention the Pacific Ocean, LEGOLAND and Balboa Park. But I am really not looking forward to the effort of getting there.

You see, for the first time ever, we opened up an annual fee airline points card about a year and a half ago. We used it like our debit card and looked for every opportunity to put things on it. For example, the down payment for our mini van and baseball season tickets (which we split with a group of friends who all paid us via check). We pay it off every single month without fail (it also has a wickedly high interest rate). If there was a charge that we knew we couldn't pay off right away (read: unexpected car repairs) that went on a separate, lower interest card. Hard to believe but we earned two round trip flights and were well on our way to a third by earlier this summer. I spent just over $100 to purchase the points needed to get us to our third "free" flight and so between that and various airline fees all three of us are flying to sunny San Diego for under $200!

Of course the free flights were incredibly limited so we're flying out of Dulles at 6am and heading to New York (read: away from California!) to switch planes before the long cross-country flight to sunny San Diego (San Diego always requires the adjective "sunny"!). Please note that Dulles is a solid hour drive from our house. And, if we want to arrive at the actual airport an hour ahead of time, we have to factor in 30 minutes between the long-term parking and the terminal. That will entail leaving our house at 3:30am. If we hope to shower and maybe eat something, the alarm will go off at about 2:45am.

Have I ever mentioned that Abel and I are NOT morning people?

I've gone back and forth a hundred times and have stressed for the past few weeks about how to handle this. My first idea was to drive toward the airport the evening before and spend the night in a nearby hotel. They all have deals where you can leave your car there for free for 7 or 14 nights and take their shuttle to and from the airport. This was initially appealing because neither Abel nor I would have to actually be awake enough to drive at that ridiculous hour. We'd simply get up, shower, wake Lucas, stagger down to the shuttle and get dropped off at the terminal. But, even factoring in the parking expenses we'd incur if not staying at the hotel, this would be a solid $100 extra. And, we'd still have to wake up at approximately 3:45am so we'd only be saving ourselves about an hour of sleep. Now, I do consider sleep to be priceless, in theory, but add in to that the fact that I never sleep well in hotel rooms...and it was looking less and less appealing.

Finally, after much stress, I have decided that we will pay extra to use the airport's valet parking. We'll pay about $70 more than long-term parking but will spend about $50 less than staying at a nearby hotel. Plus, we don't have to factor in the time for the shuttle between the long-term parking and the terminal. We just pull up, unload our suitcases and car seat and we're at the terminal and flying through security. (How busy can it be at 5am?) (Famous last words, right? Knock on wood!)

Let's just pray Lucas sleeps on the flight so he parents can get sure-to-be-needed naps as well!

Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

Favorite Things Friday: Kids' Music

This has been a summer full of travel for us and we're not done yet. We don't (yet) own a portable DVD player and so having several kids' CDs on hand that Lucas enjoys and don't drive Abel and me insane after multiple cries of "again!" has been critical for multiple 8+ hour car trips. For this week's addition of Favorite Things Friday, I thought I'd share a few of our favorites.

B is for Bob

Snacktime by the Bare Naked Ladies

Play! by Milkshake

Pink! by Rocknoceras

Full disclosure: Snacktime was purchased by us; I was lucky enough to win the others in blog contests sponsored by Mummy's Product Reviews, A Parent in Silver Spring Reviews and Tech Savvy Mama. However, if we were to lose or scratch any of the three we won, I'd purchase them in a heartbeat!



Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

Reason enough

Three women mocking the "Chinese" woman who had given one of them a pedicure that day and had given her advice for getting rid of her toenail fungus.

A group laughing about the fact that a woman thought that the profile of the man on the card looked similar to her husband. The card was from Hallmark's Mahogany line and so obviously was an African American man. The group thought it was equal parts funny and ridiculous that the woman could have thought he looked like her Caucasian husband.

The addition of the racial descriptor "black man" in the retelling of a story about a jerk driving a BMW.


Over the past few weeks, I've been in group situations where each of these occurred. Over my lifetime, I've been in countless similar situations. Each time, I clam up. I don't smile. I certainly do not laugh. I look away or physically move away.

And later I feel disgusted with myself.

I rationalize that these people are strangers I'll never see again. I rationalize that nothing I could say would change their mindset. I simply rationalize.

But then later, as I replay the situation in my head, I know that those rationalizations are crap. Isn't the fact that I may never see the person again reason enough to speak my mind? Isn't the fact that this person is my relative reason enough to let them know I don't think that is very funny? Isn't the fact that I know it is wrong reason enough?

I hope that next time--and there certainly will be a next time--I have the courage to speak up. Because it is never hard to rationalize doing what I know is right.


Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

Life Lesson List

We're in Ohio this week visiting my in-laws. Part of the reason for our visit was to take part in the annual camping trip my in-laws go on with my brother-in-law and niece. I used my pregnancy as an excuse to opt out of actually sleeping in a tent for two nights but spent both days until about 10pm at the campsite with everyone. It really was a lovely time. Lucas got to go fishing, play in a lake, go on a hike, sleep in the tent and otherwise enjoy being outside and in nature.

As dinner approached on the first evening, starting the campfire was in order. We'd purchased a large bundle of wood from a place near the campground and Abel's father proceeded to throw some large logs into the fire pit and light a few paper towels. Needless to say, it burned out in minutes. Abel's brother then jumped in, correctly stacking the wood and adding several more paper towels. It burned for a few minutes longer. I made the announcement that we needed kindling and started collecting it, but no one was really interested in using it. The fire was barely holding on. When I returned the next morning, I learned that they had used an entire bottle of lighter fluid to keep the fire going into the night!

On the second night, I decided to take control of starting the fire. I collected as much kindling as I could, but was unable to gather much after the large pile I had gathered the previous night. I purchased some fire starter sticks from the commissary. They were each about the size of a single twix bar. I used a modified A frame of large logs with the kindling and two fire starter sticks in the middle. The fire started slowly but grew into a very hot, solid burn. It lasted all night and burned through even the largest of the logs. My in-laws did not believe that I didn't use even a drop of lighter fluid. I could not have been more proud.

As I sat around that fire, enjoying some yummy s'mores, I realized that the ability to properly start a campfire is one of those things that I want to make sure Abel and I pass down to our children.

I mean, sure, there are so many intangibles that we hope to instill in our children: a strong sense of right and wrong, compassion, a belief in God, an appreciation for nature, the value of voting and participating in our democracy...I could go on.

But there are also tangible things. Some very practical and some just plain fun. Here's the list I started in my head while enjoying that fire--a list of things I want to make sure our children know.

1. How to start a campfire.
2. The recipe--by heart--for our family's favorite No Bake Cookies and how to make the perfect batch (it's actually a bit tricky!).
3. How to change a tire. (Abel will have to be in charge of this one, he's a true expert! I'm sure I could change one in an absolute emergency but am not confident about it.)
4. At least a basic understanding for the rules of football.
5. The rules of several card games including: poker, canasta, shoot the moon and euchre.

As I said, this is just a start. Now that I've started the list, it will be fun to brainstorm and discuss with Abel what other things we'd like to add. I'm dreaming of creating a family book of these life lessons a la The Dangerous Book for Boys (which I got for Abel for Christmas last year and would highly recommend!).

What would you put on your life lesson list?


Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

Teaching Children Manners

My good friend IRL, Dr. Blondie, commented on my post Introductions that she loves kids with good manners. She also asked if we taught Lucas to introduce himself or if he just picked it up on his own.

Rather than write back directly to Dr. Blondie, I thought this topic would make a great post. I do think that Lucas has pretty good manners for a 3.5 year old. And, as with most of our "successes" in parenting, I credit it to a few things.

{Knocking on wood furiously because I am now certain that Lucas will act like a total monster the next time he sees anyone who reads this blog. I also want to make it clear that Lucas, like a typical 3yo, has good days and bad days. Make that good minutes and bad minutes. And, also, we try our best to do everything outlined below. But, like typical parents, we have good minutes and bad minutes ourselves.}

First, set clear expectations.

More than just saying please and thank you, the foundation of good manners is good behavior. When we go places, we almost always discuss the rules on the way there. When going to a friend's house for a play date we talk about sharing. When walking to the park, we talk about sharing the toy we've brought with us and not running over the little kids. (Lucas tends to barrel ahead at full speed and has been known to knock down toddlers less steady on their feet!)

Because I have set clear expectations in the beginning, Lucas (generally) catches on quickly when I have to remind him of the rules. For example, if he does knock into a smaller kid at the park, I am not starting from the beginning explaining why this is not acceptable, I simply have to get his attention and say, "Lucas, remember the rule: careful around little kids." And he understands what I mean. Depending on the infraction, setting the rules in advance also gives you solid ground to leave the park (or restaurant or store) if a rule is broken more than once. Here's the thing: as a parent you must be prepared to leave.

One of our most steadfast rules at the park is that he is not allowed to go past the ring of trees which form a natural boundary between the park and the street. Earlier this summer he went past them once and got a firm reminder. He went past them again and we left immediately. Trust me I didn't want to leave either but that lesson truly stuck in his head and he is much more aware of following (at least!) that rule now!

At dinner (home or at a restaurant), Lucas knows that he has two choices: knees or bottom. This is a long and clearly established rule that he must sit on his knees (he's refused a booster seat for ages so this often helps his reach the table better) or his bottom at the dinner table. All it takes is two words from Abel or me, "knees or bottom" for him to sit back down.

Second, role play. It's a fact that any parent knows well: kids love to role play! And so, it is very easy to incorporate practicing good manners into role play. Lucas loves to pretend to be mama or dada or someone else and "meet" you. I love it, too, because these pretend meetings allow us to practice handshakes, eye contact and introductions. In other role play scenarios, I consciously practice my best manners and find myself speaking in sentences like this: "Excuse me, sir, can you please help me reach that box?" or "Thank you very much. I greatly appreciate you kindness." Yes, I may sound like I'm a character in an olde English novel, but if he incorporates just a fraction of those sentences into his requests or thanks then it is worth it!

Third, set the best example. Although these days it sometimes seems like Lucas is picking up most of his cute phrases from TV, (Or not so cute: apparently Lightening McQueen says shut up in Cars which Lucas informed us when we told him we did not appreciate him saying that.) he really gets the large majority of his language from Abel and me. And so even though we each might get pretty slack in our manners around each other at times, we both do our best to use great manners with Lucas. For example, we use please and thank you and may I to the extreme with Lucas.

I try my best not to take too much credit for the good things Lucas does because that would mean I also have to take lots of credit for the bad, as well! (ha! ha!) But, I will take full credit for the way he introduces himself and others to everyone we meet. He definitely gets that directly from my example. As I've mentioned many a time, a great park is at the end of our block. We're there almost daily and sometimes go twice a day. When we see someone there that I don't know (or who I haven't seen in a while and whose name I forget), I almost always introduce myself and Lucas. This is especially true if they have younger kids because I so keenly remember being a new mom and feeling like I didn't know a soul while everyone else was already best of friends.

In fact, I must do this so regularly that Lucas actually notices if I don't introduce myself to others at the park. One day we were there and I was pushing Lucas on the baby swing (he still begs to swing in it even though he barely fits!). Next to us were three kids who looked like they were about 13. I said hello but didn't introduce myself or Lucas. He was very upset by this and kept saying to me, "Mama, talk to them." "Talk to them, Mama." I kept telling him that I did talk to them, I said hello. But, he kept insisting. Finally, I realized he wanted me to introduce us both and so I did. He got a big grin and cheerfully said hello.

Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!