I'm here

Here. I'm home. I'm back on-line. But, not myself.

Two weekends ago we went away for our anniversary. It was such a great time and I was looking forward to telling you all about it...the rest and relaxation, the spa, the meals, the wine, the lilies of the valley growing outside our room.

But that Saturday night I wasn't feeling very well. It only got worse. Such that Monday morning I made an appointment with my primary care doctor. Before my appointment my nose bled for 3 hours without stopping. That on top of the strange rash all over my torso and my fatigue and my doctor ordered a blood workup. Call Tuesday around 10am for the results, he told me.

Instead the phone rang at 6:30am (which we didn't hear) when the first person arrived in the office and saw the test results. My doctor called as soon as he go in at 8am and very seriously told me that I had to go to the nearest emergency room immediately.

Normal platelets are 150,000-300,000. Mine were less than 4,000.

There is serious concern for spontaneous bleeding. This is very dangerous.

Okay.

We got Lucas dressed; took him to daycare and drove to an ER (note to self and others, when you live in an area with many hospitals, might be worth giving some consideration in advance to which one you'd choose if you had a choice).

The rest was both the longest and shortest minutes and hours and days of my life.

Officially admitted; diagnosis: ITP; residents and interns and medical students troop in and out to see my rare rash; CAT scans because of a headache and an enlarged lymph node; ER doc tells me that I might start hearing the word cancer because there are many abnormal lymph nodes; I'm a mystery "residents love mysteries"; move into a real room (after 12+ hours in the ER); spend first night in the hospital; spend next day feeling pretty good; spend next night; platelets are going up; surgery--lymph node removed and bone marrow taken; spend another night; platelets up into normal range; initial pathology shows no malignancy; you can go home.

NO MALIGNANCY!

The initial look at my lymph node and bone marrow showed nothing abnormal. I can't quite wrap my head around it. We'll know for sure tomorrow when I go in for my follow-up and the full pathology report.

In the meantime, I'm exhausted just writing this so have to sign-off.

Just wanted to let you know, dear internets, where I've been. I'm been thinking of you, I promise. Do me a favor and think of me tonight and tomorrow. I really need that final pathology report to be clean.