It might be secondhand smoke but it's firsthand modeling

We recently spent a week at the beach with my parents, two of my cousins, their husbands and children. You might think that a beach house with four kids age four and under would be crazy--and it was--but it was also a ton of fun and very relaxing.

It was a week of new experiences for my son. His first real experience in the ocean (he did get to dip his toes in the Pacific when he was a baby) and with the wonders of digging in the sand. He had fun collecting sea shells and following around his four year old second cousin (or is that first cousin once removed?).

Unfortunately, it was also his first experience with smoking.

I've never taken a puff--or drag or whatever the right terminology is--in my life. My husband smoked casually when we met, which I hated, and he quit just a few months after we started dating. The county we live in banned smoking in public places before we lived here. Now it is banned in the entire state of Maryland and also in D.C.

Now that I think about it, I don't think Lucas had ever been within 20 feet of someone smoking (unless we were walking by--quickly and with me holding my breath--on the sidewalk).

Until, that is, our week at the beach. Where my cousin's husband smoked. A lot.

He always went out onto the deck, and generally, he kept close to the railing, facing out. But, when we were at the house and not at the beach, one or more kids was almost always out on that deck, too. I'll be honest: it bothered me.

But, I didn't say anything. I told myself that he wasn't close enough for the kids to breath any secondhand smoke. The wind was almost always blowing, he stood a few feet away from them, etc. I rationalized to keep the peace. Once we got home I didn't really give it a second thought.

But earlier this week, more than a week after we returned home, Lucas found a little white golf pencil in the grass. He was having fun with it, trying to write on the sidewalk and carrying it around. It was just his size. Then, I saw him do this: take the little white pencil, put it to his mouth, hold it there for a second, take it out and exhale.

Just like a cigarette.

While I still believe that the second hand smoke didn't get to him. Clearly, the behavior did.

And I wish I had said something.

Original post to DC Metro Moms. Read more about Aimee and her family at Smiling Mama.


Comments

feener said...

yikes, i just think about the secondhand smoke side of it, NEVER the actual act of it. my dad smokes but he will go outside and not let the grand kids see.
Reply July 31, 2008 at 10:31 AM Caitlin said...
My father and grandfather both smoked when I was young. My grandfather successfully quit around 1984. However, smoking from the late 1930s to 1984 took a toll on his health.

I adored my grandpa. He was the cool grandpa who was learning how to rollerblade with his grandkids at age 73 and kept up with us. Then a few months later, he found out he had late stage lung cancer. Seeing him go from seemingly healthy to dying a few months later was hard enough on his grandkids that none of us smoke and all of us consider smoking to be a deal breaker when it comes to relationships.

Fortunately, my son hasn't been exposed to people he looks up to smoking, but living in a city this size, it's impossible to shield him from it. We have talks about smoking. I don't really go for the DARE scare tactics, but instead I talked about negatives that would be more real to him, like he could choose between buying a pack of a cigarettes or go to the pool at Cub Run. He's also bothered by strong scents, so we talked about how it makes your clothes and house smell. He's 3, so we're a little limited, but it seem to get the point across for now.

It's a very hard line to walk - making something undesirable without turning it into the forbidden fruit that must be tasted.

FishyGirl said...
You might want to talk with your son about smoking and what it is and how bad it is. It's really never too early for those conversations, and he's going to be exposed to it at some point. If you had talked to the smoker, I'm not sure it would have made much difference if he already smokes around his own kids. But this IS a great opportunity to start teaching your own child about smoking and your values related to it.

My kids used to have a babysitter that smoked, and they used to yell at him about it, telling him that he stank, and repeating what we had taught them about how bad it is for your body and health. They were instrumental in him deciding (and then succeeding) to quit. This was back when my oldest two were 2 and 4 years old. It's amazing what kids can understand even very early, and I think it helps them internalize those values if we start teaching them young. Whenever we see someone smoking, no matter where (because we live in Montgomery so it's rare) we are, we use the opportunity to talk to all of our kids about smoking and our values about it.

Just my $.02 that you didn't ask for :-)

Alix said...
Great point, Aimee - My kids see the occasional smoker in a car and they yell out the window at them, "ew, smoking is gross!" I hide my smile by turning away from the driver under scrutiny and try not to move my shoulders too much to give away that I'm laughing, too.

Emily said...
I feel for you, but what about those poor kids of your cousins who must endure this day in, day out? I just don't know how parents can do this, knowing what we know today, especially in regards to SIDS, whether you smoke indoors or out.


Original post by Smiling Mama. Thanks for reading!

Thoughts and prayers

Today my sister will kiss her husband good-bye as he boards a bus to board a plane to go to Iraq. For seven months. She thinks she's ready this time because it will be the second time she has done this. The second time she's said good-bye as he heads to Iraq. The second time she's been alone with her house and her dogs for seven months waiting for him to return. I'm so proud of her and of him and ask you to keep them both in your thoughts and prayers today and until he returns, safe and sound.

Prednisone Out!

And in other news...today was my very last day on prednisone!

After 12 weeks and 1 day, I am finally done!

Don't let that good news fool you, though. My platelets are still haywire. After reaching "normal" levels during my week at the beach, they were back down to just-above-critical one week later. Yeah, and I totally asked for a "prescription" to go back to the beach for the rest of the summer. Apparently rest and relaxation (or conversely stress) have no impact on platelet levels. Nor does Vitamin D (I asked all of these questions!).

But, let's focus on the good news: I could officially compete in the Olympics if I wanted to as I am steroid-free! (Yeah, like that was the only thing keeping me from Olympic-level competition. Ha!)

Keeping me busy

Sorry this blog has been a little neglected lately. I've been busy, busy, busy with some fun and not-so-fun things such as...

...a long weekend in Philly where I learned a ton and got inspired and *bonus* got to finally meet my brother's girlfriend and some of her friends. (One of whom, I swear, is the identical twin of a good friend of ours in D.C. It is seriously crazy!)

...the second half of my root canal and a temporary filling which promptly fell out 20 hours later causing another emergency dental appointment.

...early morning walks. I'm very proud of myself for getting my butt out of bed and going for a solo morning walk several mornings recently. My goal is to walk a little longer/further and add another day each week. You literally can't go two blocks in my town without hitting a major hill so this really gets the heart rate up!

...meetings, meetings, meetings. I love being so involved in our community but could really do without so many evening meetings.

Worry

So let's say your husband works for a non-profit. And, this non-profit happens to be in an industry that is getting a lot of press and attention from our elected officials these days. And those elected officials happen to have felt pressure to do something about it so they create and pass this monstrosity of a piece of legislation. Oh and that piece of legislation happens to contain a few lines that mean the non-profit your husband works for will have to close its doors. That, effective a few months from now and after that other legislative body votes, it will be illegal for his employer to operate. Cause for worry, no?

I'm Back!

Why hello there! I'm back.

"What?" You ask.

"I didn't even know you were gone." You say.

Indeed. I set a few posts on auto-post and left for the beach last Sunday. And, actually, I was "out of pocket" as far as the blog was concerned starting last Friday morning, as I was consumed with wonderful and fun wedding preparations.

On Friday I got to visit with our good friends Amy and Ryan as well as the beautiful bride-to-be. My radish salad got mixed reviews for lunch (don't worry, it wasn't the only thing I served!). Then the girls were off for manis and pedis. I opted for a soft pink while the bride went with bright red! It was a little shocking but definitely suited her.

Later that evening was the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner--both were lovely. Except, that is, for the fact that I was freezing during the dinner while every other guest complained about being hot.

Yes, my friends, I was running a fever!

Apparently I had side-effects from the vaccine a my doctor gave me on Thursday. The very vaccine I questioned, telling my doctor that I was in a wedding on Saturday and leaving for the beach on Sunday, and that I wanted to be sure I wouldn't have any side effects from. Oh, those are so rare, he assured me.

Yeah, rare.

Luckily my fever broke sometime around 9 or 10am on Saturday--I woke up literally drenched. I made my way into the shower and somehow was able to get my stuff together to meet the bride at the hair salon at 1pm. From then on it was a whirlwind and honestly I felt better and stronger with each passing hour. After getting my hair done I was treated to getting my make-up done by the bride's cousin. She did a great job, except my eyebrows which I thought were unnaturally dark.

The wedding was beautiful. It was so perfect. Simple and lovely. And the reception was a lot of fun.

Then, Sunday morning we woke up threw some stuff in the car and were off to the beach. It was the most wonderful 7-hour drive ever. Why? Well, because our darling toddler left for the beach Saturday morning with my parents. They were so excited to have him at the beach for an entire day without us; I knew we were getting the better end of the deal--a toddler-free car trip!

As for the week at the beach: it was glorious.

Here was my plan for the week (which I was pretty much able to follow every day!):

• 7am wake-up (unfortunately Lucas had other plans which included waking up at 6am every day, oh well!)
• 8am hit the beach
• 11am back to the house for lunch and naps (both Lucas and me!)
• 3pm - 5pm return to the beach
• 6pm dinner (pre-assigned to a different family each night)
• 8pm Lucas to bed
• 8pm - ? Hang out, games, etc.

And the best news of the week? I made a visit to the local hospital for a blood draw on Wednesday afternoon and my platelets came back normal.

NORMAL!

That is an increase of more than 100,000 in a week.

Doc, how about writing me a prescription for the beach for the rest of the summer?

Winner!

Congratulations Amy!

Random.org selected comment #3 as the winner of my blogaversary contest. Amy said, "I've learned some great green-friendly tips. Compost pile-here I come."

Amy, I'll e-mail you directly with your magazine subscription options!